"Deadmeat! Its dark in here! So... scared!"

"He just can't seem to land a hit, folks. This guy must be more irritated than a one-legged droid in butt kicking cont…"

"See how our opponent flees his attackers. His hand between his legs, his eyes filled with tears... I taught him that …"

"[When you equip the Razor Claws] Gotta love Razor claws. Lethal, precise, and stunning to look at! Like me, Captain Q…"

"[When you equip the Tornado Launcher] Sweet Jupiter! What kind of black magic voodoo does this guy wield?! He control…"

"[When you equip the Buzz Blades] Hey hey hey! You could've taken someone's eye out with those things!"

"Whoa, that looked painful! I would turn away if I weren't already completely desensitized by Holonet violence."

"This is just a reminder folks, streaking through the arena is prohibited by law. I'm looking at you, Crushto!"

"Tired of losing crop after crop of jellyweed thanks to fossilmite infestation? Try Grummelnet's new and improved Lawn…"

"[After crashing hoverbike] Well, looks like we're going on foot. At least I can try out my new nav-unit."