"My brother's in a wheel chair because of a freak accident as a kid. One day we were playing touch football and he fel…"

"One more thing. Making sex is like Chinese dinner. It ain't over till you both get your cookies...Remember that I sai…"

"You wouldn't know a classy broad if she took a dump on your head."

"Tim's getting a future...whether he likes it or not!"

"There once was a boy from Pawtucket..."

"Shawn Hatosy - Timothy "Dildo" Dunphy"

"Amy Smart - Jane Weston"

"Alec Baldwin - Old Man Dunphy"

"Jon Abrahams - Drugs Delaney"

"Jonathan Brandis - Mousy"