"NO... WIRE... HANGERS! What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you NO WIRE HANGERS, EVER?! I work and wo…"

"[addressing the fans camped out in front of her house on Oscar night] I would rather be here with you than anywhere e…"

"[addressing the men in the Pepsi boardroom] DON'T FUCK WITH ME FELLAS! This ain't my first time at the rodeo. You for…"

"TINA! Bring me the axe!"

"You're a lousy substitute for someone who really cares."

"[yelling at her children for making noise when she is trying to take a nap] Christina, Christopher! DAMMIT!!!"

"[about Christina's refusal to eat her meat] WHY must EVERYTHING be a CONTEST?!"

"[lecturing her baby dolls after making Joan mad] You were very, very bad to wake Mommie up like that. VERY naughty. I…"

"Adopted children are luckiest because they were chosen."

"The meanest mother of them all..."