"At least black people knew when they were slaves. You remain clueless."

"Suicide is another thing that's so frowned upon in this society, but honestly, life isn't for everybody. It really is…"

"Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people they're silly and fucking irritating."

"Whether the reasoning for these laws is insurance costs, more opportunities for random taxation through traffic stops…"

"The word addiction is used far too liberally in our society and I shy away from it. If I have any addiction, it would…"

"2013 Moore Oklahoma Tornado. "If you think that didn't take balls, you've never been to Oklahoma. Saying 'I'm an athe…"

"Are there any vice cops in here? You dicks. How do you do that for a living? I don't understand. I first read these s…"

"I hate when your friends quit drinking on you, don't you? It's sad. I've lost more friends to A.A. than Liberace did …"

"Life is like animal porn. It's not for everyone."

"I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job."