"[while going around the X-Mansion using Professor X's wheelchair] All these elderly white men on the walls. Should ha…"

"[narrating while he is shown blowing himself up] FUCK Wolverine! First he rides my coattails with the R-rating, then …"

"When this is over, I'm gonna fuck you to death with your own broken feet."

"[narrating while executing Russian criminals] I know what you're thinking: "I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home." B…"

"Is it just me or does "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" from Frozen sound suspiciously like "Papa, Can You Hear Me?" …"

"Nobody knows, but rumor has it that they keep a monster in the basement. Right next to [turns to viewer] huge, steami…"

"[riding around the X-Mansion on Professor X's wheelchair] What am I supposed to do around here, anyway? Sit in a shar…"

"[after Firefist starts a fight in the Ice Box] We're not partners or friends. This doesn't end with us riding into th…"

"[To Cable] You're so dark! You sure you're not from the DC Universe? I love dubstep!"

"[referring to Future Firefist] He came into my home and took the only thing that made it a home. Sound familiar?"