"She fell asleep anticipating another enigmatic dream. Tonight's feature starred the Commander-in-Chief himself. Angie had been summoned to Casa Bellicosa to unfasten a screech owl from the Presidential pompadour, which the low-swooping raptor had mistaken for a roadkill fox. When Angie arrived, the Commander-in-Chief was lurching madly around the helipad, bellowing and clawing at the Velcro skullcap into which the confused bird had embedded its talons. The owl was still clutching a plug of melon-colored fibers when Angie freed it. Swiftly she was led to a windowless room and made to sign a document stating she'd never set foot on the property or glimpsed the President without his hair. A man wearing a Confederate colonel's uniform and a red baseball cap stepped forward and hung a milk chocolate medal around Angie's neck, after which she was escorted at sword point out the gates. She awoke with renewed certainty that Carl Jung was full of shit. (Chapter 2)"
Quote Details
Added by wikiquote-import-bot
Unverified quote
0 likes
Humorists from the United StatesNovelists from the United StatesSatirists from the United StatesChildren's authorsJournalists from Florida
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
Imported from EN Wikiquote
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Carl_Hiaasen
Revision History
No revisions have been submitted for this quote.
Categories
Carl Hiaasen
50 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Carl Hiaasen →
Related Quotes
"A Ph.D. in microbiology is not necessary to grasp the concept: Clean water is good. Poopy water is bad."
"Local newscasts aired the pollution warnings for days, and displayed detailed maps showing which areas were unsafe fo…"
"Eons ago, when man lived in caves, dumb moves were often fatal moves. The quick and the smart survived, the slow and …"
"I try not to stand on a soapbox and scream. That's boring. You've got to be funny sometimes. All my humor comes from …"
"I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from t…"
""Those who ignore history," Moldowsky said, "are doomed to get their nuts cut." (Chapter 23)"
""Lady, do I look like a bleeping babysitter?" "He nearly died." "Yeah, because he's a fool. There's no known cure for…"
"Most opinion columnists start out as street reporters, an experience vital to understanding how things really work as…"
"B.D. Harper had not risen to the pinnacle of his profession by making enemies. His mission, in fact, had been quite t…"
"Scientists are advancing a theory that human beings have stopped evolving because we've interfered with natural selec…"