"Years and years of marriage prepared me for years and years of divorce."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I resent this applause."

"Lately, I've become quite involved in psychic vibrations. I vibrate whenever I get the chance."

"My name, as you may have guessed, is Theodore. I come from a strange stock. The members of my family were mostly epil…"

"As long as there is death, there is hope. The only thing that keeps me alive is the hope of dying young."

"I am squirming with delight to meet an intellectual colossus."

"I foretell the future. I predict the past. I don't need a crystal ball; a football, a tennis ball, a moth ball, any o…"

"My mumsie and my popsie both died years before I was born, and my sister and my uncle were identical twins, which is …"

"Only what we have lost forever, we possess forever. Only where there are graves, are there resurrections. Only when w…"

"All our great spiritual leaders are dead. Moses is dead, Muhammad is dead, Buddha is dead, the Reverend Jim Jones is …"