"No thanks. Bad luck. Three on a midget."

"You're like a beautiful chandelier. I'd like to be around when you get lit up."

"It's the biggest dope ring in years. And Jardinet is the head dope!""

"I have an agreement with the houseflies. They don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling."

"[to Mrs.Dukesbury] Write me a check for ten thousand dollars and everybody will be happy,including the gorilla. And I…"

"The last time I was on the ceiling was at a lodge meeting. The Chairman had the floor."

"You know what I say. Whenever you got business trouble the best thing to do is to get a lawyer. Then you got more tro…"

"I ain't got nothing, but you can always have half!"

"Keep the world laughing!"

"I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork."