"The other element was Paz's borderline personality disorder, which I modeled after my own experiences. I received my diagnosis in 2020, as if that year wasn't hard enough, and while I was strangely grateful to discover that my worldviews and behaviors were linked to a disorder instead of all my negative impulses and reactions being me and nothing but me, it was still really suffocating and made me feel powerless. What was extra hard about writing Paz's BPD is that while I have the perspective of someone who went through dialectical behavior therapy, Paz doesn't, so I had to keep forcing him to make the wrong choices since he's yet to learn how to self-regulate. It broke my heart and made me feel so cruel as the author, but it was important to make sure BPD was reflected accurately to help others better understand how the headspace of someone with the disorder might think. I love Paz so much and I feel so protective of him, which, in retrospect, became a big lesson for me because if I can love this fictional character so much, I needed to show my very real self that same love."
Quote Details
Added by wikiquote-import-bot
Unverified quote
0 likes
LGBT peopleNovelists from the United StatesPeople from New York CityPeople from Puerto RicoHispanic Americans
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
Revision History
No revisions have been submitted for this quote.
Categories
Adam Silvera
96 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Adam Silvera →
Related Quotes
"My End Day is coming up," Paz whispers. "No one knows their End Day in advance," I say. I never have, and I definitel…"
"It will all work out, mi hijo," Pa says. "That's what you said about Ariana," I say. Word for word, I should add. "Li…"
"Self-harming isn't helping. What I really wanna do is hurt someone else, and that thought is so fucking scary. I wann…"
""You're the one who got so moved over the fear of losing me and now you're walking away?" I ask, following Rio as he …"
"I'm on edge, scared of learning more, but if there's a world where I can have a future with Alano, even just as a fri…"
"I cry about wanting to die, about wanting to be reincarnated as my mom's new baby, and about wanting the fresh start …"
"Unfortunately, scars don't just appear out of nowhere. They are all wounds first. Some painful, others not. The loud …"
"I wai for Ma to threaten that she won't ive in this world without me like Ms. Gloria did to Paz, but I'm relieved tha…"
"I've gotta be hallucinating because I'm seeing the guy I was never supposed to see again. His green eye and brown eye…"
"I refuse to let the only future Paz believes in be the one where he kills himself."