Trading Places

"[while acting blind and legless] Hey, baby, what's happening? How are ya doing? Once you have a man with no legs, you never go back, baby. I know what you're thinkin'. You seen "Porgy and Bess"? [the woman begins to walk away] We can make it, baby! Me and you!... You BITCH!"

"[after demonstrating some fake karate moves while in jail] That's called the "quart of blood" technique. You do that, a quart of blood will drop out of a person's body."

"[watching cops subduing an unruly suspect] May I suggest using your night stick officer?"

"When I was a kid, if we wanted a jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub."

"Hey that's the motherf- I mean... that's the gentleman that had me busted."

"[introducing himself] Billy Ray Valentine, Capricorn."

"[to Penelope, as he is leaving jail] Those men wanted to have sex with me!"

"I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro. [sees Billy and attacks]."

"He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? MY Harvard tie. Like oh, sure, HE went to Harvard."

"[noticing Louis watch her undress] By the way, food and rent aren't the only things around here that cost money. You sleep on the couch."

"Officer Reynolds: [to Louis] Strip, you little shit, before I tear your ass!"

"Corrupt Cop: [Takes some PCP out of a baggie and tastes it] That's PCP! Phenycyclidine. Angel dust! You ever seen what this stuff does to kids? You're looking at 3 to 5 mandatory... Louis!"

"Bunny: And she stepped on the ball."

"Even Bigger Black Guy: It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving."

"Harvey: Monkey? MONKEY! I'm a gorilla, you clown!"

"Beeks: Hey. Back off! I'll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain."

"They're not just getting rich... They're getting even."

"Some very funny business."

"Take two complete strangers, make one of them rich the other poor... just watch the fun while they're... TRADING PLACES"

"Dan Aykroyd - Louis Winthorpe III"

"Eddie Murphy - Billy Ray Valentine"

"Jamie Lee Curtis - Ophelia"

"Denholm Elliott - Coleman"

"Ralph Bellamy - Randolph Duke"

"Don Ameche - Mortimer Duke"

"Paul Gleason - Clarence Beeks"

"Kristin Holby - Penelope Witherspoon"

"Frank Oz - Corrupt Cop"