Shannon Sharpe

"Watching D. Jack of the Eagles, his play is horrible; he dropped 2 TDs and several other catches, plus he's chicken and wants no part of contact. Eew."

"You do have your teammates behind you: your fullback and your halfback, and that’s only because they have to be."

"I'll Call the President. President, we need the National Guard! We need as many men as you can spare! Because we are killing the Patriots! So call the dogs off! Send the National Guard, please!"

"I want to ask America: What does crow taste like? Because y'all are eating it."