Portal (game)

"Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that, although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from — *static* |translation: Please refrain from many fail because of failure thanks}} *static* Stand back. The portal will open in 3, 2, 1..."

"Excellent. Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test. First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it - for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube."

"[moving on] Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the 1500MW Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button."

"Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test."

"[If the player emancipates the cube while the door is open] Please do not attempt to remove testing apparatus from the testing area. A replacement Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube will be delivered shortly."

"You're doing very well. Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."

"Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals. These intra-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of The Device. Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device. Do not submerge The Device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances, should you- *static*."

"[moving on] Please proceed to the chamberlock. Mind the gap."

"Well done. Remember, the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested."

"Welcome to Test Chamber 04, you're doing quite well."

"Once again, excellent work. As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber - you will be entirely on your own. Good luck!"

"[If the player manages to trap themselves] You're not a good person. You know that, right?"

"As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication. Good job. As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in 3... 2... 1*static*."

"While safety is one of many Enrichment Center Goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporization. Please be careful."

"[once Pellet has been caught] Unbelievable! You, [subject name here], must be the pride of [subject hometown here]!"

"[moving on] Warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the high energy pellet, and have therefore been disabled for your safety."

"[once Pellet has been caught] Good. Now use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamberlock."

"Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an "unsatisfactory" mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!"

"[after Chell completes test chamber] Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience."

"The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible. Make no attempt to solve it."

"[after Chell completes test chamber] Fantastic. You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism."

"[during the escape later in the game] Okay. The test is over now. You win. Go back to the recovery annex. For your cake. It was a fun test and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back."

"Hello again. To reiterate [slows down] our previous [speeds up] warning: This test [garbles] ...ward momentum."

"Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not."

"Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms: speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out."

"The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you - try to avoid it."

"The device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once. As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact: The device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here]."

"[If player traps themselves in the pellet launcher area] Through no fault of the Enrichment Center, you have managed to trap yourself in this room. An escape hatch will open in 3... 2... 1."

"[moving on] Get (garble) fling yourself. (garble) Fling into sp-[static]"

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-bzzt"

"Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, very, long time. If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline."

"[If the player manages to trap themselves] Despite the best efforts of the Enrichment Center staff to ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, you have managed to ensnare yourself permanently inside this room. A complimentary escape hatch will open in 3... 2... 1."

"As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you. When the testing is over, you will be... Missed."

"All subjects intending to handle high-energy gamma leaking portal technology must be informed that they may be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues. No further compliance information is required or will be provided, and you are an excellent test subject!"

"[once Pellet has been caught] Very very good. A complimentary victory lift has been activated in the main chamber."

"The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being of all participants. Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all."

"[If player traps themselves in the pellet catcher area] Through no fault of the Enrichment Center, you have managed to trap yourself in this room. An escape hatch will open in 3... 2... 1."

"Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true!"

"Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable. It has been replaced with a live-fire course designed for military androids. The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes you the best of luck."

"Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance."

"The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in 3, 2, 1..."

"This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through (most of) the test chamber. Please take care of it."

"The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations. The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak."

"[once second pellet has been caught] The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice."

"[once the last button has been activated] You did it! The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck. However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be euthanized. Please escort your Companion Cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator."

"[once the cube has been incinerated] You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations. [If this is done for the first time, an achievement titled “Fratricide” (described as “Do whatever it takes to survive.”) is unlocked at the same time.]"

"The experiment is nearing its conclusion. The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake."

"[If player traps themselves in the pellet catcher area] Despite the best efforts of the Enrichment Center staff to ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, you have managed to ensnare yourself permanently inside this room. A complimentary escape hatch will open in 3... 2... 1."

"[If player loses a cube in the goo at the bottom] Weighted Storage Cube destroyed. Please proceed to the Aperture Science Vital Apparatus Vent for a replacement. [Vital Apparatus vent opens]"

"Well done! Be advised that the next test requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions. For more information, please attend an (Aperture Science computer-aided) Enrichment Center Electrical Safety seminar."