Newman Levy

"Jack Spink was fond of drink, His wife preferred to eat; For eats is eats and wets is wets And never the twain shall meet."

"If a man builds a better mousetrap than his neighbor, the world will not only beat a path to his door, it will make newsreels of him and his wife in beach pajamas, it will discuss his diet and his health, it will publish heart-throb stories of his love life, it will publicize him, analyze him, photograph him, and make his life thoroughly miserable by feeding to the palpitant public intimate details of things that are none of its damned business."

"In Spain, where the courtly Castilian hidalgo twangs lightly each night his romantic guitar, Where the castanets clink on the gay piazetta, and strains of fandangoes are heard from afar, There lived, I am told, a bold hussy named Carmen, a pampered young vamp full of devil and guile. Cigarette and cigar men were smitten with Carmen; from near and from far men were caught with her smile."

"But here's our friend José, who seizes her bridle. A wild homicidal glint gleams in his eye. He's mad and disgusted and cries out, "You've busted the heart that once trusted you. Wed me, or die!" Though Carmen is frightened at how this scene might end, I'm forced to admit she is game to the last. She says to him "Banish the notion and vanish! Vamos! which is Spanish for "run away fast." A scream and a struggle! She reels and she staggers, for Don José's dagger's plunged deep in her breast. No more will she flirt in her old way, that's certain. So ring down the curtain, poor Carmen's at rest."

"One time, in Alexandria, in wicked Alexandria, Where nights were wild with revelry and life was but a game, There lived, so the report is, an adventuress and courtesan, The pride of Alexandria, and Thais was her name."

"The monk says, "That's a joke on me, for that there dame to croak on me. I hadn't oughter passed her up the time I had the chance.""

"On the isle of Pago Pago, land of palm trees, rice and sago, Where the Chinaman and Dago dwell with natives dusky hued, Lived a dissolute and shady, bold adventuress named Sadie, Sadie Thompson was the lady, and the life she lived was lewd."

"Let us veil the tragic sequel, for a pious man but weak will Find, alas, that he's unequal to a lady's potent charms. So his long suppressed libido, sharp as steel of famed Toledo, Spurning prayers and hymns and credo, found surcease in Sadie's arms."