Max Keeble's Big Move

"[To his father] If you rise up and show that you're not afraid...those people...will no longer have control over your lives."

"[On the School TV] Attention, students, this is Max Keeble speaking. First, I'd like to say to my friends, Megan and Robe, that I, I know that I acted like a jerk, and I'm sorry for ever getting you involved in this. I screwed up, but you guys are my best friends, and that's forever. [Jindrake is walking through the halls] I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry. [Jindrake stops and backs up to see the TV] Probably doesn't matter to you anymore, but I'm not moving. [Jindrake: [Notices Max on the TV and runs to the office] KEEBLE!] And McGinty and Dobbs. It's me you want, so leave my friends alone. I may have run before, but I am all through running now. You want me, I'll be at the parking lot, 3:00."

"[Jindrake: You've acted like a criminal, so I'm going to treat you like a criminal.] [Jindrake points model cannon at Max] I'm not a criminal. People who do crimes are criminals, like you."

"[To Ms. Dingman] If you're ever in the windy city, [Kisses her hand] look me up."

"[Sees a Coca Cola can rolling on the bus floor] Sweet! A can!"

"[To Max] Plausable Deniability...yeah, did you just make that up?"

"[To McGinty and Dobbs] No more being pushed around! No more being stepped on on! No more...Mr. Not...Nice guy!"

"[Looks at his fingers] I can't feel my fingers."

"[To Megan in class] McGinty says he's gonna pound me every day for the rest of my life."

"Max...where's your Bassoon?"

"[To garbage covered Max] This is a bad Junior High! I can't believed McGinty did that to you!"

"[To Robe in class] Dobbs says I have to give him all my money...[Irritable sigh] forever."

"[Repeated line] CEASE!"

"And now, an announcement from your principal. This is Principal Jindrake. All students will report to the assembly hall during third period for a special presentation. Attendance is mandatory. All must attend. Not attending is prohibited. That is all. Thank you."

"This Thursday, Superintendent Knebworth will be here to inspect the school. And so I am upgrading my policy of zero tolerance to one of...sub-zero tolerance, which is more than zero."

"And now, without any further ado...what's that I hear? The pitter-patter of little feet? Allow me to introduce to you the newest addition to the Curtis Junior High School Cottontails! Three foreign exchange students from Eastern Europe and their names are...unimportant because they're here to lead us to gridiron glory! Why, all they need is a place to play! Students, I give you your new football stadium!"

"I've got my eye on you, Max Keeble. You're on my list."

"You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarky. I don't encourage it. I ex-courage it. It means the opposite of encourage. Look it up. And so, young man, remember, study rhymes with buddy. Scram."

"I don't care what you want me to do. The smelly goat will never get my car! Ever!"

"I'm closing down the shelter, silly boy!"

"And let me just remind the citizens of Curtis Junior High that we are now T-minus...several hours until the Superintendent Knebworth visit. That is all. Thank you."

"Who?! WHO STARTED THIS?! If the culprit does not step forward THIS INSTANT, SWIFT and HORRIBLE RETRIBUTION awaits EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!"

"[To a young boy in the hallway] Oh, stop smiling! This isn't a Happy Place! [Knocks the boy's books to the ground]"

"Because of yesterday's crimes against the school, instigated by your former classmate, Max Keeble, the following extracurricular activities are now suspended: Art! Music! P.E.! FUN!! Suspended! Discontinued!! DEFUNCT!!"

"[To Max] You're a smart little boy...[leans forward] but so am I."

"[To Max] I'm going to come up with a punishment to you that is so severe that future generations will refer to it as...The Keeble."

"[like Jack Torrance] Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's Jinny!"

"[To Robe] Hello, freak!"

"Keeble, I worked really hard on that display."

"Told you it was gonna happen sooner or later, didn't I? Yes, I did! Yes, I did!"

"[To Robe] It's gonna be a long year for you, slim. I'm gonna pound you every day, and all thanks to your good friend, Keeble. Catch ya round, huh?"

"[As a child, at Max's 4th birthday party] MacGoogles ate Max's daddy!"

"I pound on kids. That's what I do. That's what I do! This can't happen to me. You know what they're calling me out there? The McGoogler!"

"Keeble! Caught your act in the assembly! Looks like you could use some help with managing your portfolio."

"Man, why don't you go get a real job, fool?"

"Man, I thought I told you, their lunch money is mine, vendor."

"[To Megan] Let's just round it off to all your money forever! From here on in, you work for me."

"Alex D. Linz as Max Keeble"

"Larry Miller as Principal Elliot T. Jindrake"

"Jamie Kennedy as The Evil Ice Cream Man"

"Josh Peck as Robe"

"Zena Grey as Megan"

"Robert Carradine as Donald "Don" Keeble"

"Nora Dunn as Lily Keeble"

"Noel Fisher as Troy McGinty"

"Orlando Brown as Dobbs"

"Justin Berfield as Caption writer"

"Brooke Anne Smith as Jenna"

"Tony Hawk as himself (cameo)"

"Lil' Romeo as himself (cameo)"