Matt Rife

"I think if you're on this earth for such a limited amount of time, how insane is it to sit behind your phone and computer and complain about something you don't like when you have the world at your hands of all the things you could do? Like, what an absolute waste of energy, time, and emotion."

"[About online anger:] It doesn't translate to the real world. I just walked through two very packed airports and did nothing but take like 45 pictures. Nothing but a positive response."

"[If he has had any negative response to his comedy offline:] Never. Not once. Never once has somebody come up to me and said 'Hey, I didn't like the thing you said.'"

"Imagine you see a street performer. They're playing violin on the street corner, they've got their case out whith cash. Say you fucking hate violins. Violins drive you nuts. Maybe he's not even good at playing violin. What do you do? Ya keep walking. No sane, decent human being stops and goes 'You're fucking aweful dude. Kill yourself! What are you doing out here? You're making my life miserable until I just look a different direction.' That's an insane thing to do. And most people know not do that."