Man on the Moon

"I'm not a comedian. I don't wanna go for cheap laughs."

"Those are dead people laughing. You know that? Those people are dead!"

"I'm sick of this shit, Lawler. I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna sue you for everything you got, I swear to God. Fuck you! Okay? Okay, Lawler? FUCK YOU! I'm sorry, Dave. I know I'm not supposed to use those words on television. I can't say those words. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But, you, you are a (bleep)ing, (bleep)ing (bleep)hole! Okay?!"

"Do you want to move in with me?"

"Whoopdie doo, whoopdie die...stick a needle in your eye!"

"You almost sat in some cottage cheese. Oh pardon me, that's your ass."

"OK, bullshit bullshit my line, bullshit bullshit my line, AHHHHH!"

"How about a bathroom? I may of shit my pants!"

"If you guys ever go to Vegas...YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' IN!"

"So... ya wanna see Andy? Anybody gotta flashlight and a couple of shovels?"

"FUCK YOU! I'M NOT GOIN!"

"You're insane...but you might also be brilliant."

"I've been in this business for 20 years Andy, I've seen this...I KNOW this...if you pass up an opportunity like this one, I promise you...you will NEVER see another one like it again...EVER!"

"If I find out you're behind this I will KILL you, Zmuda."

"Look at you...you're so proud...you look like some stupid kid walking home from school and saying, "Look Dad, I got an F!""

"Andy, you have to look inside and ask this question: who are you trying to entertain - the audience or yourself?"

"Andy: Women are superior to men in many ways."

"Many Loved Him...Many Disliked Him"

"Whatever he did...Whatever he made us believe...was all just a part of the act."

"Hello, my name is Andy and this is my (insert medium here)."

"Jim Carrey – Andy Kaufman and Tony Clifton"

"Danny DeVito – George Shapiro"

"Courtney Love – Lynne Margulies"

"Paul Giamatti – Bob Zmuda/Tony Clifton"