Igor (film)

"Hi, I'm here about the "Igor Wanted" ad. My name's Igor. Well, of course it is. I have a hunch, what's my name gonna be? Kevin?"

"As somebody I loved once said: It's better to be a good nobody, than an evil somebody."

"That's Scamper, one of my most successful inventions. [Scamper drops a giant weight on himself, flattening himself] I made him immortal, which is kind of a hassle for him, since he doesn't want to live."

"That's Brain, one of my other inventions. Legend has it when the smartest man in the world died, they put his brain in a jar... this is not that brain."

"OH GOD! She's killing blind orphans! That's so evil! I mean, which is great, but... BLIND ORPHANS!"

"Okay, monster. I command you to kill that fly. Kill it! KILL IT!!! KILL IT, GIRL! Come on! You're a killer! Maim it! Wound it! Insult it! Something! Kill it! Kill it! KILL! KILL! KILL!"

"Monster want a brain wash*"

"[While attempting to kill Brain] You made my monster an actress!"

"For generations, King Malbert has kept us in the dark, by creating the clouds with a weather ray! He lied to us! We trusted him and he lied to us! He tricked us into thinking we need to be evil to survive. But we don't! None of us do."

"As an actor, I feel VERY deeply about everything. And enjoy every minute of it."

"Which play are they rehearsing?"

"You're upset. I know... 'who's the strange woman living with Igor?' But, I assure you, Igor and I are just friends. As his girlfriend, you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not evil. [pause] I'm Eva. (Igor: That is the correct answer.)"

"He's got a monster of a problem."

"All men are not created evil."

"Adventure just got reinvented! (UK DVD cover)"

"John Cusack as Igor"

"Molly Shannon as Eva"

"Steve Buscemi as Scamper"

"Sean Hayes as Brain"

"Jennifer Coolidge as Jaclyn / Heidi"

"Eddie Izzard as Dr. Schadenfreude"

"Jay Leno as King Malbert"

"Arsenio Hall as Carl Cristall"

"Christian Slater as Dr. Schadenfreude's Igor"

"John Cleese as Dr. Glickenstein"

"Paul Vogt as Buzz Offmann"

"James Lipton as Himself"

"Jess Harnell as Announcer, Royal Guard #2"