Hair removal

"In that you pluck each hair from your breast, from your legs, from your arms; in that your prick is shaven, and covered with short hairs; we all know of course, Labienus, that you do this for your mistress. But to whom do you offer your arse, which you shave, Labienus?"

"Why dost thou pluck each hair from thy aged cunt Ligia? Why rouse the embers of thy deadened lust? Such delicacy befits girls; for now thou canst not appear even an old woman. This, believe me, Ligia, Hector's mother, does not with grace, but Hector's wife. Thou art wrong if thou thinkest it a cunt, at which no prick can stand. Wherefore if thou hast a particle of shame, Ligia, beard not the dead lion."

"Indeed it was a tradition of Ibn Abbas (Allah accept of him!) that the Apostle said, 'Whoso cutteth his hair on a Friday, the Lord shall avert from him threescore and ten calamities'"

"BEARD, n. The hair that is commonly cut off by those who justly execrate the absurd Chinese custom of shaving the head."

"A happy vicar I might have been Two hundred years ago, To preach upon eternal doom And watch my walnuts growBut born, alas, in an evil time, I missed that pleasant haven, For the hair has grown on my upper lip And the clergy are all clean-shaven."