Ernest Goes to Jail

"I've never been inside a restaurant that doesn't have a drive-thru window before."

"[To Nash's lawyer as he's being taken to the chair] You pal, you're not getting anymore of my business!"

"[Finds Rimshot in the trashcan] What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

"Real men are not intimidated by physical threats against their personal selves, and, ironically, neither am I."

"Look, I'm not this guy Nash!"

"This guy is better off in jail."

"Is everyone who works here a moron?"

"Here, I'll help you up!"

"Don't worry about that diet, tubby. Once I set this fuse, you'll lose all that weight."

"This is pathetic."

"(Thinking Nash is Ernest) You are slime Ernest P. Worrell!"

"Pull on it! Pull on it, Chuck!"

"Ernest, we're late for work!"

"We're sorry, Ernest, Bobby didn't know the mace can was loaded."

"This guy is in love! L-U-V! Ernest is in love. Ernest and Charlotte sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Ernest pushing a baby carriage!"

"Nash, I said the let the hostages go!"

"Now, Nash, you'll never get away with this!"