Captain Ron

"Alright, that's more like it, now you're talking! You can do it, mates! I've never seen such sailors. Not in all my born days, I ain't. Naturals! My God, everyone of you, naturals... [beat; to himself] We're gonna fucking die!"

"[after losing his glass eye] It never did fit anyway. Guess you gotta get 'em custom made."

"Hey! Uh, leg feels a lot better now, boss. I always been a fast healer, you know. 'Course I believe in Jesus, so that helps."

"A diesel loves her oil same as a sailor loves rum."

"[Captain Ron has left Martin at the wheel to pilot the boat alone. His wife comes and stands next to him] Isn't this great? Look at this! Open ocean, uncharted islands... Who knows what's waiting for us out there? Come here. [hugs his wife] Log entry: Day two. The adventure begins! What a thrill it is to be leaving the turmoil of civilization behind us!"

"Kurt Russell — Captain Ron"

"Martin Short — Martin Harvey"

"Mary Kay Place — Katherine Harvey"

"Benjamin Salisbury — Benjamin Harvey"

"Meadow Sisto — Caroline Harvey"

"Sunshine Logroño — General Armando"

"Jorge Luis Ramos — General Armando's Translator"

"J.A. Preston — Magistrate"