American Pie 2

"Oh, yeah! The Stif-meister's coming back to Grand Harbor! Deck the halls, bye-bye Great Falls, wipe my ass and lick my balls! It's Stifler time, baby! Whoo-hoo-hoo!"

"Where are the fuckin' females? Jim, can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away."

"[Grabbing his crotch] Shake this!"

"[Thinks champagne is being poured onto his head when he's actually being urinated on from the balcony] That's it, bathe the Stifmeister. Ohhh, Ohhhh that's GREAT! How'd you get it so nice and warm? Oh, I can taste the bubbles! Actually, I can't."

"When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you fuckers learn anything in college?"

"Tantric, what the fuck is Tantric?"

"[When walking past a girl in a short skirt before a lecture] Ooh! There's little hearts on her panties! There's little hearts on her panties!"

"Ladies, I am down with the funky shit."

"[answers the phone after awkward situation with Jim and Finch] Stif-meister's palace of love--uh, straight love."

"Where are the fucking females?"

"Oh God, I kissed Jim."

"[after Finch describes watering a ficus as a "pure tantric moment"] Finch, stay the fuck away from that ficus. That is a jizz-free ficus."

"Finch, fist yourself!"

"Eat shit, 'Shit break'."

"Whack away, Jim. Whack away."

"I kind of super-glued myself to, uh, myself."

"That's a lot of flutes."

"This is my first time, uh, si-since my first time."

"My name is Petey, and I have gigantic balls!"

"But we never even had friendly hello sex."

"Jim?! holy potatoes!"

"This one time--um, here."

"My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis. [Stands up to the women], but that doesn't mean anything to you, does it? Because you don't have a penis, or maybe you do."

"[to parents of girl they caught in bed with Jim] Hi, I'm Jim's Dad. You must be the parents of this young lady, I... didn't get your daughter's name, but I hope my son did."

"Hey. Keep it real, homies."

"Kevin: My brother said by the end of the summer I'll get the big picture, and I see it. No matter what, times change, things are different. But the problem is, I don't want them to be."

"Finch: [talking to a picture of Stifler's Mom] How did you do that magic you did?"

"Trucker: Squeeze his ass son, you'll like it!"

"Danielle: [Jim has Amber's dildo while under the bed] Johnny West is missing."

"This Summer It's All About Sticking Together."

"Get Ready For Another Slice of Pie!"

"Times Change. People Change. But Friends & Family Are Forever."

"Time for your next piece of pie!"

"It's time for a second helping."

"Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein"

"Shannon Elizabeth - Nadia"

"Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty"

"Chris Klein - Chris 'Oz' Ostreicher"

"Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers"

"Natasha Lyonne - Jessica"

"Tara Reid - Vicky Lathum"

"Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler"

"Mena Suvari - Heather"

"Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch"

"Chris Owen - Chuck Sherman"

"Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad"

"Molly Cheek - Jim's Mom"

"Denise Faye - Danielle"

"Lisa Arturo - Amber"

"Eli Marienthal - Stifler's Brother"