A Christmas Story

"[reading his essay] "What I want for Christmas. What I want is a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock... and this thing which tells time." Wow, that's great. "I think that everybody should have a Red Ryder BB gun. They're very good for Christmas. I don't think that a football's a very good Christmas present.""

"[after cracking a secret code, reading it] Be sure...to...drink...your...Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!"

"[as an adult, narrating] Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man."

"Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya."

"Scut Farkus: [to Ralphie] Listen, jerk! When I tell you to come, you better come! [Ralphie starts quivering] What? Are you gonna cry now? Come on, crybaby, cry for me! Come on! CRY, HA HA!!! [begins mock crying and laughing]"

"A Tribute to the Original, Traditional, One-Hundred-Percent, Red-Blooded, Two-Fisted, All-American Christmas..."

"Peace, Harmony, Comfort, And Joy... Maybe Next Year."

"'Tis Better To Give Than To Receive."

"The Parker Family"

"Scott Schwartz – Flick"

"R.D. Robb – Schwartz"

"Yano Anaya – Grover Dill"

"Zack Ward – Scut Farcus"

"Tedde Moore – Miss Shields"

"Jean Shepherd – Narrator (Ralphie as an adult)"

"Bob Clark – Swede (uncredited)"

"John Wong – Chinese Father"

"Johan Sebastian Wong – Waiter #1"

"Fred Lee – Waiter #2"

"Rocco Bellusici – Waiter #3"