Groo the Wanderer

"There once was a barbarian -- Who roamed about the plains -- And used the power of his sword -- To substitute for brains."

"His mighty swords are in his hands -- His eyes are flaming red -- He doesn't have a bit of fear -- Or brains inside his head."

"You think you can confuse Groo by giving him two things to think about at once!"

"Maybe I could get a job collecting taxes! Then I would earn money so I could pay those taxes! That is how government works!"

"I want my dog back! I would give you until the count of five if I could count to five!"