"Some nurses and I went out for a little midnight skateboarding last night. The only trouble was that I was the skateb…"

"How does a quadriplegic cross the road? He was stapled to a chicken."

"Hello, I was just practicing lying here."

"I admit that it's embarrassing for a man to compliment a woman on her breasts when only one of them is in bed. One of…"

"Gennie James - Possum Spalding, Edna's daughter"

"Ray Baker - Sheriff Royce Spalding, Edna's late husband"

"[Moze caught with her silver in hand] You ever try and steal anything from me again, I'll shoot you myself, you under…"

"[to Moze] You took a no-account piece of land and a bunch of people that didn't know what they were doin' and you far…"

"Forgot to tell you, we got a letter from your Aunt Gladys. She was hoping we could come to Oklahoma and visit them...…"

"Mrs. Spalding, believe me, if I had anyplace else to go tonight besides the State Home for the Infirm, I'd gladly lea…"