"You fool! You raving Oriental idiot! There is a time and a place for everything, Cato! ...and this is it!!"

"I see you are familiar with the falling-down-on-the-floor ploy."

"Valet, this is Inspector Clouseau. Please send up my... well, please send down my brown suit immediately. As quick as…"

"[after inadvertently destroying much of the hotel he is in]: I must leave. Zis Hotel is deteriorating rapidly."

"[to a taxi driver]: Follow that car! [driver gets out of the taxi and follows the car]"

"I did not know the bank was being robbed because I was engaged in my sworn duty as a police officer."

"I arrest you, Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious pink Lytton."

"Now he's off to Gstaad. Today... a paradise in the Swiss Alps; tomorrow... a wasteland! Compared to Clouseau, Attila …"

"[to Francois, after accidentally shooting himself in the face] Don't just stand there, idiot. Call a doctor, and then…"

"I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn't tell me what to play, and I don't tell him what to do wit…"