"I never thought I'd say this to anyone, but I gotta go get the atomic bomb from out of the car."

"Hey, Mister, I betcha can't guess what I've got in this box. An atomic bomb."

"[after being drugged] Jenny. I love you, Jenny. I wanna be your wife."

"You mean I'm gonna die because some asshole didn't bring a pair of pliers?"

"It's the purest plutonium in the universe. Pretty, isn't it?"

"I just happen to have access to one of the sexiest lasers in the entire free world."

"You try to tough it out with them, they'll lock you in a room and throw away the room."

"Oh, what did you want us to do? Put up a neon sign that says 'Secret Weapons Laboratory'?"

"[as they are about to disarm the bomb] Anybody want to make a bet?"

"Student: [about Paul] What's the problem? Was he sexually abusing the hamsters or something?"