"[Talking about the coin he used to flip at the Super Bowl] It's really a commemorative coin."

"I AM NOT A BUS DRIVER!!! I DO NOT WORK FOR THE BUS COMPANY!!! ALL RIGHT?!!! I--I NEEDED A RIDE TO NEW MEXICO, SO I ST…"

"[Looking at a map, a plane lands behind him] Where the hell is the airport?!"

"[When he and Duane accidentally drive into the middle of a monster truck rally] WHEY DA FU AR WEY?!"

"[To Duane] Duane, Mom's watching 'ou from 'eaven righ' now. Wha' would 'he doo? For starving children, Duane. 'O it f…"

"Oh good! A scam!!"

"[to Owen] I knew I recognized you, you're the referee, the bonehead!"

"We should've bought a squirrel."

"They're always pissed, honey. They're Nazis, it's like it's their job."

"My grandfather used to say that good things take time, but great things happen all at once."