"This isn't a diet book. In fact, you may gain 30 pounds just reading it."

"I may be the only man in America who can qualify for workers' comp based on my cholesterol."

"If you truly want to learn a place, eat the food of its people."

"My four Southern food groups are bourbon, salt, bacon and pie."

"In the South, you will get a lot of sugar — and by that we mean a lot of hugs and kisses. We don't air kiss in the So…"

"I went on a bourbon diet for three days and lost a week."

"Another round? It would be rude not to."

"Abstaining from bourbon and bacon doesn't make you live longer. It just feels that way."

"If there's no bacon in heaven, I don't plan on going."

"All my life my mother has told me I'm hard to shop for. She can't find the bacon aisle!"