"A word about Mrs. Flax and food: the word is "hors d'oeurves". "Fun Finger Foods" is her main source book and that's …"

"[narrating] Please, God, let him throw me on the ground and make another Joey Junior."

"I may be pregnant with the next Jewish-Italian Messiah!"

"[everyone in town is stricken by the news of President Kennedy's assassination] It feels like there isn't a single ad…"

"So Joe, tell me about the nuns in the convent. Do they wear underwear in the shower? [narrating] I don't believe I sa…"

"Oh, I'm going to hell for sure. Here he is, talking about his poor dead mother and I can't help wishing his hands wer…"

"OK, I've had a little scotch...I'm real calm."

"Death is dwelling on the past or staying in one place too long!"

"[Charlotte is praying at a shrine she has made in her room to the Virgin Mary] Charlotte, we're Jewish."

"[to Charlotte as she goes out to spend time with Joe] Don't do anything I wouldn't do…[pause] Or don't do anything I …"