"To me, tragedy is if I'll cut my finger, that's tragedy...Comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die."

"As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes."

"If they [presidents] can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country."

"Little John: Let's face it — you've got to be a man to wear tights!"

"Man In Front of Castle: Hey Abbot!"

"Max Bialystock: How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast.…"

"Who's the dummy writing this show?!"

"I was in the middle of shooting the last few weeks of Blazing Saddles somewhere in the Antelope Valley, and Gene Wild…"

"Comedy is a weird but very beautiful thing. Even though it seems foolish and silly and crazy, comedy has the most to …"

"[explaining that Paul Revere was Anti-Semitic] He was scared they were moving into the neighborhood. "They're coming,…"