"Let me buy a [security] pass … so that they can scan me and and search me and measure my penis, then let me get on th…"

"John McCain, if you liked the last eight, you are going to love the next four."

"You can call the dogs in, wet the fire, and leave the house. The hunt's over."

"[On Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama] If she gave him one of her cojones, they'd both have two."

"Mr. Richardson’s endorsement came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out for 30 pieces of silver…"

"Whenever I hear a campaign talk about a need to energize the base, that's a campaign that's going down the toilet. It…"

"[Hollywood] hates America."

"Who cares? Sometimes you need rebirth. (On the destruction of America)"

"Hurricane [Katrina] hit the Gulf Coast and destroyed much of the Gulf Coast — that was an act of God … Now what happe…"

"Stay focused. Talk about things that’ll matter to the people, you know? It’s the economy, stupid."