"I thought it was really odd at how much people freaked out at Katrina. You'd think they'd be worried about something …"

"I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational."

"[On airport pornography] I've never seen anybody purchase them, but apparently people are. They wouldn't carry them j…"

"[On marketing and commercials] HENDERSON VALLEY EGGS! You're gonna love our eggs!!!... [cut to small granny in rockin…"

"I don't remember ordering the Christian sandwich..."

"If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine."

"[After reading an article on Miles for Kids in an inflight journal] What [President of the Airline] is doing is, he's…"

"We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedal…"

"And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...that is when I was helping one of the other FIVE BILLION PEO…"

"So I was watching all the Katrina coverage and I got really angry at... Christians who didn't pray hard enough... It'…"