"The floor is lava! That's the lava game, when you pretend that the floor is lava and you climb up on all the furniture. I see some of you don't get that. I don't care, that's okay. You might have called it something else, but it meant the same thing: you were poor. I'd tell my mom, "I want a Nintendo," and she'd reply, "The floor is lava!" "What's wrong with our house? Why can't we afford better carpeting? It's called two jobs, bitch!" That's how I used to talk. I was very street."
Quote Details
Added by wikiquote-import-bot
Unverified quote
0 likes
Stand-up comedians from the United StatesTelevision personalitiesPeople from FloridaPeople from GermanyActors from the United States
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
Imported from EN Wikiquote
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Daniel_Tosh
Revision History
No revisions have been submitted for this quote.
Categories
Daniel Tosh
39 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Daniel Tosh →
Related Quotes
"I can say that. I have a television show."
"Wouldn't it be funny if that girl got raped by like, five guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys jus…"
"Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street. I'd be like, "Hey, so I guess I…"
"I'm a lousy piece of ass, and I should know every woman I have been with has told me, so I've been there almost every…"
"You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with, "I'm not honest, but you'…"
"I don't think I could stab somebody, 'cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun."
"Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then …"
"I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed."
"I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having another man around the house..."
"Babies aren't dishwasher-safe."