"Lies are easy to believe in but the truth sounds false."

"The sum of the rivals is constant."

"God for all anyone knows could be Cary Grant."

"Irene the Slut sits on top of the television, the atmosphere of Russian vodka about her skin."

"I fell in love with money before I had any and it’s a myth that the best romances end in heartbreak."

"A sinning nun, her face in a plate of cakes, caught my eye as I descended on the moving stair."

"Writing is hard work. Even when you start with the raw ingredients – a mad family, a sense of humour, talent…it’s har…"

"I read Wuthering Heights when I was seven. I stole a copy from the library. We weren’t allowed books in the house bec…"

"I wouldn’t want to be labelled a Woman Writer even though I’m definitely not a man. And I think Scottish Writer has s…"

"I think about toilets a lot, and how awful it must be to be a toilet."