"The truth, it's not overrated."

"You can take it from me, the truth, it's overrated."

"Kid, if you do this, I'll tell them you wrote Big Fat Liar, Erin Brockovich, and Saving Private Ryan too."

"Grow up, Shepherd! This is Hollywood, baby. It's a dog-eat-dog town. Worse. We got cats eatin' cats. We got fish munc…"

"You can take your personal day in a year or two when you're DEAD, you DINOSAUR!!"

"[Picking up his stuffed monkey while dancing to "Hungry Like the Wolf" by Duran Duran.] Let's dance, Funnybones!"

"Big Fat Liar. B.F.L. "Biffle", as it’s come to be known."

"[After seeing in his mirror, his whole body is blue] [screams in horror] OH, MY GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OD!!!!!!!!"

"I'm gonna GET YOU, SHEPHERD!!!"

"I think we can confirm here we're dealing with THE MEANEST MAN ALIVE!"