"It's a trick. Get an axe."

"[trying out his new prosthetic gloved hand] Groovy!"

"[about to kiss Sheila] Gimme some sugar, baby."

"Three books? Wait a minute... hold it. Nobody said anything about three books! Ooh, that stinkin' wiseman! He was so …"

"Klaatu Barada NNNNNNecktie. Nectar. Nickel. Noodle. It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word! Klaatu... Barada..…"

"Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth!"

"[crushing skeletons with boulders] OH, THAT'S GOTTA HURT!"

"[sets "Evil Ash" on fire, then swings towards him on a rope] TALLY HOOOO! [kicks him off the castle wall]"

"[final monologue] Sure I could've stayed in the past. Could've even been king. But in my own way, I am king."

"All right, you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This... is my 'BOOMSTICK!' [continuing nonchalantly] It's …"