"Some banks get stuck with a name that sounded good a hundred years ago when they were founded but sounds kind of sill…"

"Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by their government. Republicans believ…"

"The one affectation I have forced on the publisher … are my apostrophe-free ellisions. Because I write my scripts to …"

"At the end of every television broadcast, the names of the people who worked on it are listed. Why, you may ask yours…"

"President Reagan must be happy over how bad the weather's been this winter, because its the one thing no one's blamin…"

"I wish people who sell things would stop trying to guess how many of something we want to buy. I want to buy things o…"

"Ive had quite a few complaints lately from people who like it when I complain about things. They say I havent complai…"

"I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing …"

"There's nobody like Andy, and there never will be. He'll hate hearing this, but he's an American original."

"It's a sad day at 60 Minutes and for everybody here at CBS News. It's hard to imagine not having Andy around. He love…"