"Simon Poland — Consul Triton Crassus / The Mailman"

"I'm looking for a girl with big bones."

"OK, maybe I might help you. It's only because I'm a sucker for big-boned dolls in trouble."

"Mambino: Big confidence from an alien - who walks like a troll, dresses like a worm, and has the voice that gives eve…"

"General Rykov: Your panty-hose are on too tight, Crassus."

"Lord Over: Come here, child. Come closer. So, you are the Wanda."

"Venture to the core!"

"Tinseltown Was No Comparison To The Underground."

"The people at the center of the Earth are about to get a visitor."

"Kathy Ireland is the Alien From L.A."