"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!"

"All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close. Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it's just a l…"

"Jack Kilpatrick: Shana, they bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash!"

"Young Girl Passenger: [when offered cream for her coffee] No thank you, I take it black…like my men."

"Radio Announcer: "WZAZ in Chicago where disco lives forever" (The Airplane then took out the antenna forcing the stat…"

"What's slower than a speeding bullet, and able to hit tall buildings at a single bound?"

"Thank God it's Only a Motion Picture!"

"The craziest flight you'll ever take!"

"The Plane's going to Chicago. The Pilot's going to New York. The Passengers are going to Pieces!"

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines."