Young Adult Authors

"The story begins as the Pilgrim family, along with the rest of the Whanganui branch of The Children, move south to Nelson, to join with another branch. The reason for the move is unclear, but the teenagers assume it has something to do with needing to match-make, as many of the young females are approaching marriageable age – 16. Rebecca has lived her entire life within her family group, though she and the other children had to attend a ‘worldly school’ in Whanganui. It is a frightening prospect, then, when she is sent with her twin, Rachel, to sell produce at a farmers’ market on Saturdays in Nelson. This interaction with people who live their lives in freedom proves an eye-opener for both sisters."

"our little niece came tearing out to meet us."

"Phil Cooper was eleven years old when he began to understand that his father meant to bend him to his will."

"cv_I_am_not_estherOne of the factors that contributes to Rebecca’s doubt is the not-insignificant fact that she, along with the rest of the family group, are meant to act as though their older sister and brother are dead, as well as her “trouble-causing” cousin, who she is continually required to stand up for. I am not Esther tells the story of the siblings and cousin who left the group – which to the family unit means they must be treated as ‘dead’. Rebecca is determined, in her own way, to remember that they existed, but not without guilt over this."

"While I won’t tell you what happens, I will say that Rebecca is a strong and admirable character. You feel that Beale really lets you into the mind of somebody who has grown up within a strict environment such as The Children of the Faith. Beale’s books have dealt with cults several times previously, but always from the outside looking in, so this is a refreshing point of view."

"At no stage in the book does Beale let up on the tension, as we follow the sisters through impossible situations with regards to the Rule regarding every aspect of the Children of the Faith and how they manage themselves. The sisters must abase themselves each time they need to tell their Father something, for fear of earning hours of prayer. The tension builds, with death, bad marriage matches and new babies adding to it, until Rebecca begins to doubt, finally, the wisdom of her elders."

"I’ve always believed Frick to be detached from reality, but I thought he was just a megalomaniac, a manipulator, a con artist. Now I begin to slowly understand. He’s far more dangerous than any of those things. He’s a true Believer."

"I will never understand why Believers cling to this kind of language, this relentless empty optimism, plus all! those! exclamation! points!"

"I’m starting to understand how little purchase the truth actually affords us in this world."

"If there are any doctors in the house, could we get Mr. Masterson some medical attention? It would be a shame if he were to pass away before he’s prosecuted for his crimes."

"“That’s part of the prophecy of the Rapture, right? The dead will rise and crash our parties?” He laughs. “Do you really think that’s a priority, for the reanimated corpses?” “Absolutely,” I say. “No French onion dip in purgatory.”"

"“This whole country,” says my grandmother evenly, “supports a culture of ignorance and anti-intellectualism which posits that not understanding a phenomenon is just as valid as understanding one, and frankly I’m sick of it.”"

"It’s funny now to think that we were ever confused by extreme action taken in the name of God."

"I wonder if this is what bravery is: adrenaline plus love plus absolute stupidity."

"What Harp doesn’t understand is that I like my parents—current hiccups in sanity not withstanding."

"“I’m Harp,” my best friend says, business-like. “This is Viv. Personally, I think you guys would make really cute babies together.”"

"“Bless him”—the Messiah raises a shiny copy of the New Apocalypse Edition of the Book of Frick—“for leaving us this miraculous book, this new edition of his Holy Word, available for only nineteen ninety-nine at Church of America megastores worldwide.”"

"How many simple pleasures I denied myself, because I thought that’s what goodness was. How stupid that it took me until the end of the world to realize it was something else entirely."

"It’s not enough for the Believers to feel abandoned—they need to know they’ve been lied to. Otherwise someone down the line will try again."

"Harp gives me a look. “What?” “You are terrible at lying, Viv. Embarrassingly bad. Have I taught you nothing?”"

"“I mean, these people really believe what they believe.” “But what they believe is so absurd.”"

"“But it was probably nothing.” “Nothing is nothing anymore, Viv.”"

"We could conceivably slow this destruction down, but it would require huge overarching changes in the structure of our society—the kind of change we will never achieve so long as we remain distracted by imaginary acts of God."

"“What? Why the fuck are you smiling?” “Because you’re so like Winnie, it’s actually spooky. You both clearly possess the take-no-shit gene.”"

"In addition to founding the Church itself, Frick was the CEO of its accompanying multimillion-dollar corporation. They publish the magazines and run the Church television networks, and they produce end-of-the-world provisions like these—bottles of Holy Spring Water, a bland SpaghettiOs knockoff called Christ Loops."

"Even now I think I could only list for him the various things I don’t believe in. But still I wish I could. Because I’m starting to narrow it down. I don’t believe in hate. I don’t believe in money. I don’t believe in God. I don’t believe it’s too late."

"(“For God saw that Americans were industrious and made money in His name, and he saw that it was good”). It’s one of the many parts of the Book of Frick that makes you wonder whether or not Frick was just straight-up on ’shrooms when he was writing it."

"Believer culture seems to shift so quickly, from benign to terrifying and back again."

"Behind him shines the blinking neon of a casino:"

"But I can’t justify the act to myself, no matter how much I like making out with the boy I’d be trying to save. That would be playing by Believer rules—telling myself that violence and the threat of it is okay, if that’s what it takes to get you what you want. “For God so loved the world,” says the Book of Frick, “that he sent us guns with which to protect our homes and women.”"

"Everyone seems absurdly rich and very drunk. I notice with annoyance that there’s no adherence to modesty here: I see short skirts and plenty of cleavage, bare necks adorned by jewels. I guess if you have enough money, the Church will overlook a selection of your sins."

"If I ever had patience for believers who wanted to convince me of my own wickedness, I’ve officially run out of it."

"Most people think the three of us are friends, since we’re almost always seen together. But we’re not friends. Our relationship is a transaction."

"High school is like a kingdom, only instead of temperamental royals, golden thrones, and designer outfits flown in from Europe, the hallways are filled with loud postpubescent teens, the classrooms with rows of wooden desks and students dressed in ugly plaid skirts, navy-colored slacks, and stiff blue blazers."

"Perhaps if hierarchies weren’t so important and people weren’t constantly trying to take me down, maybe I’d be more trusting of people, and Ava and I would be more than just two girls using each other to survive high school."

"I know no good comes from comparing what I have to what they have, but seeing all that money and privilege, and having none, hurts. I try to convince myself that being a scholarship kid doesn’t matter, that I shouldn’t care."

"The familiar sense of peace rises inside, and my hands stretch toward the piano. And then I play."

"Even though I know I shouldn’t care, it annoys me that when girls know what they want and how they’re going to get it, they’re seen as cocky. But guys who know what they want? They’re confident or strong."

"They enrich themselves by your suffering—parasites, quite literally draining the blood from you."

"To sleep at your post! shame on you! Had you been a sentinel in time of war that nod would have cost you your life, supposing you to have been caught in the act."

"If I go to sleep and the fires die down, who knows but wild beasts may come upon us and kill us before we can seize our arms."

"The crowd is eventually separated, the men from the women, and shoved into a large, dark building where Amari can smell “sweat and fear…body wastes and hopelessness”"

"We must welcome our guests, then, Amari. We would never judge people simply by how they looked—that would be uncivilized…Let us prepare for a celebration."

"I know something about the monkey tribes, but I cannot say that at this moment I remember any particular habit of which we might avail ourselves."

"Red is the color of sanctity. It’s the color pure girls will bleed when Elder Durkas tests them."

"Infinite Wisdoms caution against talking to unmasked women, against even looking at them. They may be demons in disguise."

"The spirit of the copper sun seemed to bleed for them as it glowed bright red against the deepening blue of the great water."

"Oh no! not at all; perfectly well—never was better in my life,” he said, becoming all at once preternaturally grave."

"Amari loved the rusty brown dirt of Ziavi. The path, hard-packed from thousands of bare feet that had trod on it for decades, was flanked on both sides by fat, fruit-laden mango trees, the sweet smell of which always seemed to welcome her home."

"You tear yourself down for things you could not have known or done... why punish a seed for not yet being a tree."