You Don't Mess with the Zohan

"I like this, being inside the outside."

"I like hair. It's pleasant. It's peaceful. No one gets hurt."

"It's nice to have a little talk before the Bang-Boom."

"I just want to make hair silky-smooth."

"You know, you shouldn't jump around when this nice woman is holding a sharp pair of scissors. If you move she could slip and slice your jugular vein, on accident. There is no way to stitch the jugular. All of your blood will be on the floor in four minutes. I have seen this. I have done this. You don't want this."

"I bang your mother one more time, then we go disco."