We Will Rock You

"Help, I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody!"

"I know that I'm different!"

"They hate you because they're scared of you. Because you're different! You're, well, a — An individual!"

"It drives me mad, all these phrases and sounds. Stupid, useless phrases. I mean, what the hell is a... tambourine man? What's the story, morning glory? Who was the real Slim Shady?"

"But all I know, and I don't even know why I know it, is that I really, really, really wanna zig-a-zig-ah!"

"It looks better when I'm holding a tennis racket!"

"And if I have your love, dying doesn't matter much at all. Does it?"

"No, Scaramouche! I still haven't found what I'm looking for! I can't get no statisfaction, you don't stop until you get enough, ARGHHH ga do do do push pineapples shake a tree."

"That was below the belt"

"A couple of weeks ago I was virtually a Virtual High School dropout. Why would the rock gods tell me the answer?"

"The hairy one is back. And this time, she's a babe."

"Shagileo Gigolo only rocks for the kids."

"So you could act like a pathetic little coward? You wanted to be a rock star? They wouldn't let you in a boy band! (In some versions, this is changed to "They wouldn't let you in INXS!")"

"So come on, Gazza! Where's the bloke I used to love? Where's the bloke with the lead in his pencil? Where is Shagileo Gigolo?"

"I must make haste... I must complete the rebel archive... Stardate May 14th 2304. Although I have yet to discover the exact date on which music died, it is clear to me that an ancient entertainment phenomenon known as 'Pop Idol' (In newer versions this was changed to X-factor) played a central role. Soon, popstars were being created at such a rate that they were famous for less time than it took to play their records. Culture imploded, the Globalsoft corporation seized its opportunity, and the age of the Ga Ga had dawned."

"There is always hope! Hope is our birthright."

"Any way the wind blows."

"Make love, not war!"

"Don't worry about Cliff Richard; he's indestructible."

"They couldn't quite zap it all... zap it all... zap it all..."

"It was a time of boy bands. And girl bands. And boy and girl bands. And girl bands with a couple of boys in them that looked like girls."

"You're right, crazy lady. We'll take my Harley. Rock's transport of choice. Not as fast, clean or efficient as a Japanese bike, but it sounds humongous."

"It's been years since I've felt the soft warm thighs of a rebel chick wrapped round my skinny white arse."

"I'll be a groupie. Anyone wanna see my tits?"

"Ooh, I've gone all tingley."

"I shall be thine roadie!"

"I'm a groupie and a roadie! That means I'll have to have sex with myself. So, no change there then!"

"They secretly [ Makes a sign showing a throat being slit] the members of Queen. Brian May got one last wish. He wanted to play a very last guitar solo. He was able to postpone his execution by three-and-a-half days with it."

"This is an ancient and holy scroll known as a Vie-day-oh Tah-pay (Video Tape). [Runs through Bar Patrons who all groan and reach out towards the tape] They all want it. But they can't have it! It's mine! It's (Gollum voice) My precious!"

"Oh my. Oh my, oh my. What is this? Do I see a little silhouette of a spy?"

"Oh, god, I hate hippies!"

"So... an ignorant plucker."

"What does 'a-wop-bop-a-loo-bop, a-lop-bam-boo' mean?"

"Underground, overground wombling free. Now tell me; who are Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po, and why do they say 'eh oh'?"

"Where is she? What is her E-mail address? How does she love you? How does she 'drive you crazy'? Is she a drug pusher?"

"We've pulverized every rock on Planet Mall, and no Instruments of Mass Destruction have been found."

"All they need is a leader; that's all it takes. One young, sole rebel, one crazy kid with a dream, a guitar, and a bad-arsed babe to fight for."

"Finally I'm checking into the Heartbreak Hotel. So, Mr McCartney, I say hello, and you say goodbye."

"Have you seen the size of the cups these days? They've been getting bigger for three hundred years. 'Regular' is now the size of a dustbin. Only last week a small child fell into her Sprite and drowned."

"Lost them? Oh I see... lost them. Oh, no, we didn't lose them, no. We just don't know where they are."

"Well, star or no star, I intend to blast every rock on Planet Mall to smithereens, just in case! Stonehenge. Mount Rushmore. The famed Victoria Beckham Belly Button Diamond. If these grim tools of freedom do exist, I shall find them!"

"Need I remind you, that as well as being businesswoman of the year, I am also dynamite with a laser beam!"

"You know what happens to people who disappoint me! I think I'll have to blow your mind!"

"Who dares to play live rock on Planet Mall?"

"What part of 'don't stop me now' do you not understand?"

"I like it both ways"