¡Three Amigos!

"[To summon the invisible swordsman] Farley Farley Farley Farley Farley, Hufaaaaarrr!"

"Mount up! ... It means get on your horses."

"Uh, this is real... Yes: They. are going. to KILL us!"

"Oh GREAT!!! REAL bullets!!!"

"You were supposed to fire up! We both fired UP! It's like living with a six-year-old."

"Well you slime eating dogs, you scum-sucking pigs, you sons of a motherless goat!"

"In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo!"

"One time, Dorothy Gish was visiting me on the set of "Little Neddy, Grab Your Gun". And she came up to me and she looked me in the face and - I'd never met her, I'd just known her on films, you know, Dorothy Gish, Lillian's sister - and she looked me in the eyes and she said, "Young man, you have got it." And. Ah! Dorothy Gish. It's a true story."

"Do you have anything besides Mexican food?"

"I know each one of you, like I know my own smell!"

"[Describing his plans for dealing with the Amigos] Tomorrow I will take fifty men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze the shit out of them!"

"El Guapo only kills men. [horse neighs, Three Amigos shuffle nervously] He does not kill crying women! [Three Amigos let out a sigh of relief]"

"Jefe: [to El Guapo] Could it be that once again you are angry for something else, and you are taking it out on me?"

"Pablo: Can I have your watch when you are dead?"

"Dirty Mexican: And then they called us scum sucking pigs...US!"

"Harry Flugelman: (ranting at the Amigos) It'll be a cold day in hell when Harry Flugelman lets an actor tell him what to do!"

"Steve Martin - Lucky Day"

"Chevy Chase - Dusty Bottoms"

"Martin Short - Ned Nederlander"

"Alfonso Arau - El Guapo"

"Tony Plana - Jefe"

"Humberto Ortiz - Pablo"

"Patrice Martinez - Carmen"

"Philip Gordon - Rodrigo"

"Fred Asparagus - Bartender"

"Kai Wulff - German"

"Randy Newman - Singing Bush (voice)"