The Object of My Affection

"Don't open the door for any gas men. Unless you think either one of us would be interested."

"I like guys a lot, but I'm not going to waste my time with some guy that doesn't see things the way I do... I mean do you really need this guy?"

"I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you."

"You don't tell a woman that you love her and then two days later bring Romeo over to sleep with him."

"You have to pick one person and make it work."

"Freud didn't know DICK about women."

"I want to look at you and not feel so hurt by you."

"Head up, young person."

"I'm simple, that's why I teach first grade."

"Don't fix your life so that you're left alone right as you come to the middle of it."

"One shouldn't be too hard on oneself when the object of one's affection returns the favor with rather less enthusiasm than one might have hoped."

"I enjoy gay people, but I just have a slight problem with my pregnant sister being in love with one of them."

"Sidney Miller: If I wasn't happily married and you weren't my wife's stepsister, I'd have an affair with you in a second."

"Sidney Miller: I swear, I'm hotter than a goat in China."

"Dr. Robert Joley: We're too young to settle for a twin-bedded friendship."

"A love story that could only happen between best friends."

"Sometimes The Most Desirable Relationship Is The One You Can't Have"

"Jennifer Aniston - Nina Borowski"

"Paul Rudd - George Hanson"

"John Pankow - Vince McBride"

"Allison Janney - Constance Miller"

"Alan Alda - Sidney Miller"

"Tim Daly - Dr. Robert Joley"

"Joan Copeland - Madame Reynolds"

"Steve Zahn - Frank Hanson"

"Nigel Hawthorne - Rodney Fraser"

"Kali Rocha - Melissa"

"Gabriel Macht as Steve Casillo"

"Sarah Hyland as Molly"

"Hayden Panettiere - Mermaid"

"Liam Aiken - Nathan"

"Bruce Altman - Dr. Goldstein"

"Daniel Cosgrove - Trotter Bull"

"Samia Shoaib - Suni"

"Audra McDonald - wedding singer"

"Lauren Varija Pratt as Sally"

"Salem Ludwig - Mr. Shapiro"

"Antonia Rey - Mrs. Ochoa"

"John Roland - TV Anchor"

"Rosanna Scotto - TV Anchor"

"Kevin Corrall - Louis Crowley"

"Kia Goodwin - Juliet"