Paul Desmond

"I could only write at the beach, and I kept getting sand in my typewriter."

"I hate the way he writes. I kind of love the way he lives, though."

"I have won several prizes as the world’s slowest alto player, as well as a special award in 1961 for quietness."

"I think I had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to sound like a dry martini."

"I tried practicing for a few weeks and ended up playing too fast."

"I was unfashionable before anyone knew who I was."

"It's like living in a house where everything's painted red."

"Not for me. If I want to tune everybody out, I just take off my glasses and enjoy the haze."

"Sometimes I get the feeling that there are orgies going on all over New York City, and somebody says, `Let's call Desmond,' and somebody else says,'Why bother? He's probably home reading the Encyclopedia Britannica.'"

"Well, that I'm not playing better."

"Writing is like jazz. It can be learned, but it can’t be taught."

"You're beginning to sound like a cross between David Frost and David Susskind, and that is a cross I cannot bear."