Out Cold (2001 film)

"[girl in bed with him farts on him] Oh, no you didn't."

"Welcome to el Matador, Spanish for, The Matador."

"I'm gonna need a bucket, a paint brush and 10 pounds of salt. Lance. Get his pants."

"I don't have to take a test to tell you that I take drugs."

"Carpe the Diem. Seize The Carp."

"Can you get an STD from a polar bear?"

"Maybe we should clarify something. When you won the race last night, that made you king of the mountain. Not king of the no-ball-pussy-losers. They already have their own king. My brother."

"No regrets, that's my motto. Well... that and everybody Wang Chung tonight."

"This suit is really cramping my Hardy Boys. It's no mystery."

"Well, yeah it doesn't really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer."

"[drunk] There you are, I've been looking for you, come inside, you look so beautiful and I wanted to see if you wanted to dance. [Anna walks up] Not you, him and his white tuxedo."

"[Pig Pen wakes up from humping a bench in his sleep] He's had a crush on that bench for years....Did you enjoy your nap?"

"You know I hate what they're doing to the mountain, but this is the best vanilla latte I have ever had. You can actually taste the vanilla beans... I don't like the coffee."

"[punches Pig Pen] A little sensitivity here. Can't you see this is a dejected man? Now Rick, get your dejected head out of your ass. Papa Muntz wanted you to run this mountain."

"I was there. Yeah, it was called the '80s. Ford was President, Nixon was in the White House and FDR was running this country into the ground. I was bummin' in a hole-in-a-wall town in what is now called Utah. Some fella from Colorado shows up, starts making so called "improvements", right? Before we knew what hit us, the streets are running with latte's. It got so bad that a fella that liked to, you know... smoke a little grass or drink a little ripple. Crow like a rooster, maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentlemen's duel, was "uncouth, against God." More like bad real estate values. Stumpy had to go!"

"Did I ever tell you about the time I invented snowboarding? Ya I don't want credit for it but they keep on giving it to me..."

"Jason London as Rick Rambis"

"Lee Majors as John Majors"

"Willie Garson as Ted Muntz"

"Zach Galifianakis as Luke"

"David Koechner as Stumpy"

"Flex Alexander as Anthony"

"A.J. Cook as Jenny"

"David Denman as Lance"

"Caroline Dhavernas as Anna"

"Derek Hamilton as Pig Pen"

"Thomas Lennon as Eric Montclare"

"Victoria Silvstedt as Inga"

"Todd Richards as Barry"

"Lewis Arquette as Herbert 'Papa' Muntz"