Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh

"[seeing Drake as a mall Santa making out with someone] That's not what Santa does."

"[calling the cops over vandals at a Christmas party] Hello? Cops?!"

"[getting arrested] Oh, no. Oh no, you don't understand, I didn't... I didn't do anything! I didn't do anything! There's been a terrible mistake! I'm not saying it's your fault! I'm not saying it's your fault! I'm just saying there's been a mix-up! There's been a mix-up!"

"[painfully, while climbing a tree] Bark against my groin."

"[shouting in court] The cow goes moo! I was trapped in a refrigerator! I take special vitamins!"