John Nance Garner

"Not worth a bucket of warm piss."

"Worst damnfool mistake I ever made was letting myself be elected Vice President of the United States. Should have stuck with my old chores as Speaker of the House. I gave up the second most important job in the Government for one that didn't amount to a hill of beans. I spent eight long years as Mr. Roosevelt's spare tire. I might still be Speaker if I didn't let them elect me Vice-President."

"You have to do a little bragging on yourself even to your relatives—man just doesn’t get anywhere without advertising."