George Ade

": It all depends."

": In uplifting, get underneath."

": Don't try to Account for Anything."

"Moral: If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable."

"A Piker always has his entire Stock of Goods in the Show Window."

"R-E-M-O-R-S-E! Those dry Martinis did the work for me; Last night at twelve I felt immense, To-day I feel like thirty cents. My eyes are bleared, my coppers hot, I’ll try to eat, but I cannot. It is no time for mirth and laughter, The cold, gray dawn of the morning after."

"Early to Bed and Early to Rise is a Bad Rule for any one who wishes to become acquainted with our most Prominent and Influential People."

"Moral: When Wealth walks in at the Door, the Press Agent comes in through the Window."

""Whom are you?" he asked, for he had attended business college."

"In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of entertainment."

"She was a soprano of the kind often used for augmenting grief at a funeral."

"The music teacher came twice a week to bridge the awful gap between Dorothy and Chopin."