Cheech & Chong

"Earache my eye, how would you like a butt-ache?"

"Cheech: [sings] Mexican Americans don't like to just get into gang fights, they like flowers and music and white girls named Debbie too. Mexican Americans are named Chata and Chella and Chemma and have a son in law named Jeff. Mexican Americans don't like to get up early in the morning but they have to so they do it real slow. Mexican Americans love education so they go to night school and take Spanish and get a B. Mexican Americans love their nanas and their nonos and their ninas and their ninos, nanoo nanoo nina nonoo! Mexican Americans don't like to go to the movies where the dude has to wear contact lenses to make his blue eyes brown cause don't it make my brown eyes blue. And that's all I got, how do ya like it?" Chong: Oh that's good. Cheech: That's like a protest tune, man. Chong: Yeah, I dig that. But you know, while you were singing that, I wrote another tune. Cheech: Oh yeah? Chong: Yeah, it's, it's like the same thing, only different. You want to hear it? Cheech: Yeah, yeah. Chong: It's like a little more rock and roll than that one. Cheech: All right, get down. Chong: Something like this here. [sings Beaners! Beaners! [speaking] I gotta work a little more on the lyrics. Cheech: Yeah that's heavy man. [phone rings] Keep working on it, man. Chong: [singing in the background] Beaners! Beaners gonna... Cheech: Hello. Mexican Americans like to answer telephone calls and say hello to whoever's on the other end."

"Cheech: Uh, his name is RAAAAAALPH, man."

"Cheech (as Buzz Wired): Hi, this is Buzz Wired from DORK Radio, and you have just won BAM!!!! Bummin' Around Money!"

"Chong: Good evening, and welcome to... Cheech: White World Of Sports! Chong: Brought to you by... Cheech: Budweiser! Chong: Breakfast of Champions. Cheech: Remember, when you're out of Bud... Both: Tough Schlitz."

"Chong:Hey, which one of you is the DJ? Cheech (as Wink Dinkerson): Uh, that's me, Wink Dinkerson, from KRUTE Radio. Chong: Aw, far out, Dink."

"Cheech:Hey man, give me a sip. Chong:Okay... Cheech:Hey, that's pee! Chong: I know. It's for my probation officer. Cheech: Oh. Does he drink pee?"

"Street guy: Well, tell you what, brother, how ‘bout a watch, man? I know y’all ain’t got a watch, cause if ya had a watch, you know it be night time and night time ain’t no time to be in this here neigborhood, man. So, how ‘bout a watch? Hey, hippie, how ‘bout you? You want a watch? Chong: Ah oh, no thank you, man. I’m not into time."